What are the odds that two people at a party will have the
39 and holding
49 is really just 7 squared.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
All of these presents are for me?
Another year older
(put X over "older"
and then write "BETTER" in the top)
At least you're not as old as this rock.
At my age, sometimes I stop to think,
then I forget and have to start all over again
A ball of a birthday
Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
The best 10 years of a woman's life is between 39 and 40.
Birthday cake, candles, presents, streamers, party hats, horns,
[the number of years], pick your favorite dinner or restaurant
Blow the candles, wish away. You're the superstar every/of-the day.
Count your age by friends not years. Count your life by smiles not tears.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL'
- Jack Benny
George Carlin's views on aging:
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old,
you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?"
"I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half.
You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.
Then you get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13, but hey,
you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life You become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony.
YOU BECOME 21.
But then you turn 30.
Oooohh, what happened there?
Makes you sound like bad milk!
He TURNED; we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, and then you'rePUSHING 40.
Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.
Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
You MAKE it to 60.
You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch;
you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there.
Into the 90s, you start going backwards;
"I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
"I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
He's nifty at 50!
Headline News : [person's name] is [number] of years old!
Hot off the presses
I'm aging like a fine wine - I'm getting complex and full-bodied.
It's hard for me to get used to these changing times.
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
- George Burns
I'm having a SENIOR moment -- I'll be back soon. (I think!)
It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.
It's Nifty to be 50
It's not the age it's the attitude!
I'm not old … I'm a vintage year.
Just what I always wanted.
Lordy, Lordy look who's 40!
March 14th is pie day (3.14…)
(happens to be my birthday)
Pie in the sky
Pie a la mode (pie sign with ice cream on top)
Easy as pie
Cutie pie (the sign with red lipstick mark on it)
Maturity begins when we're content to be right about something without finding
it necessary to prove that someone else is wrong.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
The more candles the bigger the wish
My doctor says I'm in the early stages of Fossilization.
My get up and go has got up and went
[Name] is so sexy at 60
Oh Dear, Another Year
"OLD" IS WHEN…Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs" and you answer,
"Yep I could use a nap about now."
"OLD" IS WHEN…Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and
"OLD" IS WHEN…A gorgeous girl catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door
"OLD" IS WHEN…You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN…You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN…"Getting some action"
means I don't need to take any fiber today
"OLD" IS WHEN…"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
Once you're over the hill, you pick up speed.
One year older and another year cuter!
A picture perfect Birthday
(camera and film die cuts)
A pocket full of birthday wishes
A royal birthday
(castle / crown /princess/ king)
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,
The good fortune to run into the people I do like,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
So many candles - so little cake
Sweet Little Sixteen
- Chuck Berry
That's Mr. Old Fart to you!
We should do this more often.
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get OLD.
- George Burns
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
- Phyllis Diller
You're like fine wine … aged to perfection.
-- Who else was born on your birthday?
What were the headlines on that date?
Check our resource center and find out.
-- Border your Birthday page with symbols of the holiday.
(Birthday cake, candles, presents, streamers, party hats, horns,
[the number of years], pick your favorite dinner or restaurant.)